Don’t remind me to be happy if I’m not.
Faking it isn’t real happiness.
And when things aren’t real, they hurt so much worse.
Don’t remind me to smile as though you’ve done me a favour
That will mend the darkness inside
Just because my painful numbness makes you uncomfortable
Don’t remind me of the me I used to be
Because I’ve always been this
And you don’t get to claim otherwise by waving around a surface memory.
Welcome to below the surface.
You can remind me that it won’t last forever.
You can tell me that you love me anyway.
You can sit with me in the darkness and
You can sure as hell try to find some beauty in the shadows.
Because the shadows may lighten and scatter
And they may dim and threaten to overwhelm
And they may just stay, edged in around me,
Ambiguously, comfortably familiar.
Don’t remind me that you’d rather be somewhere else.
If you do, just go.
But if you’d like to sit a while,
My house is your house, I’ll make some tea.
If you’d like to get to know me,
Take me as I am,
Broken and silly and painful and weird,
And unmistakably lost.
And maybe you’ll see that somewhere in here,
Somewhere amid the chaotic disaster,
There is some order,
Some method to the madness,
And there is some treasure,
And there is me.
Maybe I’m the treasure.
Aren’t the best ones buried deep?
Maybe I’m worthwhile.
I know that I’m not easy and I’ve heard that nothing worthwhile ever is.
And if you find something in here that you want to fix,
Not unless I ask.
Don’t remind me that you can’t handle my broken and weird.
Because for right now, that might be all that I am.
And if you are hell bent on fixing all that I am,
Then I will only remember that you didn’t really see me.
Don’t remind me of that when I’m already invisible to everyone else.